Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sometimes you don't what to think.

This morning I woke up at 8am a fairly normal hour, I checked facebook from my phone because I am that addicted to it. I saw my friend James' status was "going back to NJ for a very sad day." I assumed it had something to do with his wife's side of the family so I let it go. About an hour later and after sleeping some more, I check facebook via my phone again. It amuses me that I do this because the PC is down the hallway in the living room. This time I saw Brendan's status say "pray" and I saw Britney's status say "praying for everyone." I knew with Brendan having pray up that it was James' side of the family and when Britney (a friend of the family) had something written I thought "uh-oh."

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get the text message that I did get. So after seeing these statuses I send a text message to my friend Bridget (she is James and Brendan's Aunt) and I say "What happened or what is happening, I only ask because of James', Brendan's and Britney's statuses on facebook." I got back a very straight forward message that said "I didn't get to call you yet, but it's Nicky. He's dead. We're going to the hospital." I read the text message and I knew what it said and I responed back with a "holy crap, what the hell happened? tell katie and everyone that i'll be praying for everyone."

I honestly expected to be something about Bridget's father, and I don't know why her dad came to mind first but he did. I never thought I would read, hear, see the words Nicky's dead. Nicky is Bridget's grand-nephew or great-nephew what ever you want to call him and Katie is her nice and Nicky's mom.

I re-read the text message about 4 or 5 times before it really sank in and then again it really didn't until a little while later when James (Katie's brother, Nicky's uncle and then Bridget's nephew) left a message much like the one I left for our friend Kelly, you know the classic, "when you get this call me back, I've got news that I'm not leaving on a message."

I had of all things a funeral Mass to go to so I went off and showered and continuously checked facebook via my cell phone at times wishing that somehow Bridget's text was going to magically change. I went to the funeral Mass and tried my best to think of and pray for Joann, whom I know from the Cornerstone Retreat team I am on, who is the wife of the man who the funeral Mass was for, but I couldn't my mind was completely on Nicky and Katie. Fr. George was preaching to the family of the man who died, he was preaching to all of us, but it was geared towards the family. Fr. George spoke of love. All I could think of was yep that's why it hurts because I love Katie and Nicky. I know where Nicky is, he's in Heaven with his cousins Fiona and Bernadette and his great-aunt Teresa and his great-uncles Matthew and Owen, who also were taken home to God earlier than we would have liked. I'm sure there's other family members up there too, I just know their names.

Nicholas Tolentine Alexander Knock (yes that is his full name, he was born around or on the feast of our Lady of Knock so that got tossed in, and Alexander came from Fiona (who died about a month and a half before Nicky was born) whose middle name is Alexandra), may you rest in peace, your short life brought great joy to those of us who knew you, even if I was the crazy one with the camera that you saw once in a while.

Katie my prayers are with you as you will need them more than anyone. I want to do nothing more than just hug you right now. My prayers are also with the family, I've know you guys for 10 years now and from the first time I met you I was treated as family. Hell, most of you consider me family.

Life is so confusing at times. God has His plan, we may not understand it, but we have to go with it.

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