Who Am I To Judge by Dr. Sri

I picked up "Who am I to Judge? Responding to Relativism with Logic and Love." by Edward Sri a good few years ago. I have known of Dr. Sri for a while as I heard him speak at a Defending the Faith conference at Franciscan University. My parish also uses his Symbolon videos for our RCIA program.  The book grabbed my attention a few years ago for the same reason I decided to finally pick it up and read it, the feeling of being alone in my thoughts and morals, even though I know I am not.  Each chapter has questions at the end of it and I figured typing my answers here would make as much sense as writing them down.  My answers will be in a different colored text and each chapter will get answered as I read it.  There are seven chapters with questions and then seven keys after that.  As you can tell I am typing this as I am reading the book.  Chapters 1 and 2 are Part 1 of the book, Chapters 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 are part 2, and the Seven Keys are Part 3 and then there is a conclusion and a post script.  

Chapter 1 - A New Kind of Intolerance

1. Have you ever felt afraid to bring up a moral topic or talk about a moral issue with your friends or family? Why were you afraid? What were you afraid of?

The short answer is yes. I don't know if I was afraid or more tired of constantly being on the defensive. I know when I bring up the topics of abortion, gay marriage, and transexual people in confirmation class that I am going to hear the classic retorts.  I guess I am afraid that I won't be liked, but then again why does that bother me.  

2. Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict) was quoted as saying, "Today, having a clear faith based on the Creed of the Church is often labeled as fundamentalism." Do you think that's true? Explain.

I agree with Pope Benedict (I can't bring myself to call him by his given name for some reason.) I think it's hysterical that I am considered a  fundamentalist for being Catholic. Honestly, all I do is go to Mass on Sunday and pray during the week, I don't think I am that different or crazy of a person.  

3. Have you ever been labeled "judgmental" or "intolerant" by others just because of your moral beliefs? Perhaps by a friend, teacher, relative, or group you were involved with? If so, share a story about what happened. 

Again, the short answer is yes.  I will never understand how "catholics" can vote for a pro-abortion candidate. I know my political leanings are different than most of my stereotypical democratic Irish American family, but I will never forget the anger in my cousins voice when I said I was voting for George W. Bush. When I was teaching at LaSalle the students flat out told me I was racist because I was white and that I was intolerant because I was telling them actual Church teaching.   

4. What can you do differently so that you are not afraid to talk about moral truth with others?

But on my big girl pants and not worry about what others think of me.  Pray more to be courageous.  

5. Many people today think that groups who believe in truth are the ones who cause all the problems in the world-- such as 9/11, the Rwandan genocide, etc.-- so they think its better never to make moral judgements about other people's actions and to just tolerate each other. What's the problem with this approach? (See the quotation in this chapter from sociologist Christian Smith.) 

Said quote: "At the same time, these emerging adults have not been taught well how to differentiate between strong moral and religious claims that should be tolerated, if not respected, and those that deserve to be to refuted, rejected, and opposed. Very few have been given the reasoning tools and skills to discern such important difference. As a result, many emerging adults simply end up trying to completely avoid making any strong moral claims themselves, as well as avoiding criticizing the moral views of others ... But what few of them seem to realize is that such a position makes it impossible to rationally evaluate or criticize any moral wrong, including the horrific destruction and violence that helped drive them to this tolerant position in the first place. That is a problem."

I think claiming to be tolerant gives people an excuse to actually be intolerant.  I think people are so afraid to disagree with one another. They also don't know how to actually talk and listen to others. I know I have been there myself too.  It's much easier for us to try and figure out the answer vs. actually listening.  I agree that we have done a poor job of actually teaching teens and young adults ways to actually agree to disagree. People don't like to be criticized or hear something different than what they say.  We have become such a "tolerant" society that we don't know how to actually be tolerant.  It makes me think of what Chris Stefanick said that being tolerant means you disagree while still loving the person.  

Chapter 2 - Clashing Worldviews

1. The author told a story about proving to his friend that relativism was logically inconsistent. Explain that point in your own words:Why is it illogical for relativists to say there is no truth?

My initial thought was "Why can't I think that quickly, why can't I think of a witty comeback like that?" If relativism is the belief that absolute truth doesn't exist it contradicts itself by being a truth. 

2. How successful was this approach in convincing his friend that relativism was wrong? Explain.

It made the point but it didn't really work, but his friend did agree at first.  

3. Have you  ever tried to convince a friend relativism is wrong? What was your approach? How well did it go?

I don't think I have.  I might point out natural laws as in everyone is usually against murder.  It usually comes up in Confirmation class, not in everyday life.  

4. Why does the author say it's not effective merely to debate with relativists? What must we do instead?

It's like the saying "you get more with honey than vinegar."  It's kind of hard to deny something when you are forced to take a look at it yourself.  Treat them with kindness and eventually the truth will win out.  

5. The best way to detect counterfeit money is to study authentic currency. And the same is true with morality. What can you do to form yourself  more with an authentic, Catholic moral view? 

This makes sense, the more you immerse yourself in something the more you take in.  I always had a Catholic moral view and it was strengthened by finding like minded people who also took the time to learn what the Church actually teaches.  It reminds me of the quote attributed to Archbishop Sheen, "There are not one hundred people in the United Sates who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be." 

Chapter 3 - "But I'm Not Hurting Anyone"

1. Let's reflect on the funeral example mentioned in this chapter. Which qualities do you want to be remembered for most at your funeral? What does this tell us about what's most important in life and the kind of life you want to live?

2. We saw that ethics is about how to more from who we right now to who we want to become -- from man-as-he-is to man-as-he-could-be-if-he-fulfilled-his-telos. What is one area of your life that you think you need to work on most in order to become the kind of person God wants you to be? What is something practical you can do this week to help take a step closer toward becoming that person? 

3. The chapter discussed two ways we hurt people by directly harming the or by failing to be the best we can be for others. What are some ways we fail to be the best we can be? In our friendship? In our family? In our relationship with God?

4. Describe a time you personally hurt someone by failing to be the best you could be for them. Or think about this the other way around: describe a time you were hurt by someone who didn't harm you directly but failed to be the best they could be for you.  

5. What is one relationship you think God wants you to improve the most right now? What cane you do practically to strengthen it?

Chapter 4 Friendship and Virtue

1. We saw how we are made for relationships. What are the most important relationships in your life? How well are you fulfilling your responsibilities in these relationships? At home? At work? At church? With your friends?

2. In this chapter we discussed the connection between virtue and living our relationships well. But is this true? Do I really need virtue to live the people in my life? If I care about them and value them, why can't I just love them?

3. There are many virtues, such as justice, humility, patience, purity, courage, prudence, self-control, generosity, honoring others, and gratitude. Which virtue do you think you need to work on the the most to strengthen your relationships?

4. Virtue involves three qualities: habitually doing the good easily without a struggle, as if it's second nature; doing the good not every once in a while but consistently; and doing the good joyfully, without complaint or frustration. Which of those three qualities do you think is hardest for you? Why? 

5. The chapter discussed three ways to grow in virtue: learning about the virtues, intentionally practicing the virtues, and depending on God's grace. 

a. What can we do to learn about the virtues?

b. What are some ways we can more deliberately try to practice virtue?

c. Practically, what do we need to do to draw on God's grace more to grow in the virtuous life?