I did a thing

So after 9 years I finally did it, I got a tattoo. I didn’t tell anyone except a few people who would understand why I did or or more accurately wouldn’t care that I did it. 

Before you condemn the ink on my arm ask me why. Why I have Hope’s own handwriting on my arm. Yes, the grief for my mom is constant, but before that was and continues to be the grief for Hope. 

For those who don’t know Hope was one of my original youth group kids. She was part of the groups from middle school until she graduated high school.  I don't tell the story of her death often because, well honestly I don't know, probably because I still wonder what we could have done to prevent it. Hope took her own life and honestly there was probably nothing we could have done to stop her.  What her death did was make me more aware of how we handle mental health in general but more particular in the Catholic Church.  I think we have a way to go in both places.  

Anyway the tattoo is her name in her own handwriting, The semicolon is there to remind me and others that our stories continue, it is purple because that was her favorite color and honestly it's one of mine too. 

Hope's death was by far the hardest I have ever had to deal with and if you know me you know I have been to funerals for people of all ages, babies included.  

Anyway I now have a constant reminder that we all matter and that our stories continue on.