Habemus Papam (raw emotion in this so not censoring myself)

 No one reads this thing so I'm just going to type up my emotions on the new Pope. 

I couldn't say it because I was in class with my pre-k students, but holy shit, they picked an American. Ok fine we can be technical and say that Francis was the first American pope, but everyone calls those of us rom the USA Americans, so piss off. 

I have lived through now 3 conclaves and each one has been similar yet different. I am a JP2 girl, I will not deny that St. John Paul the Great influenced my life and faith. I saw him the most World Youth Day (WYD) Paris in 1997, WYD 2000 in Rome, 2001 in Rome with SHU, WYD 2002 in Toronto. Each of those was similar but different. In Paris I felt like I was one of few if not the only one of my group that actually wanted to see the Pope. My being more religious or "knowing" more about Catholicism has been a theme throughout all my life. JP2 was elected in October of 1978 a year and 2 months before I was born and he died in 2005 fittingly on the Feast of Divine Mercy. Like many I had never experienced a conclave and back then technology and media was not what it is today. JP2 was Pope for 27 years; he traveled all over the world, updated Canon Law, updated the Catechism, wrote many letters, encyclicals and other documents. As 2005 was 20 years ago no one wants to think about JP2's legacy as we are still living it. A return to tradition or going backwards as many would say has made an appearance among the younger priests and members of the Catholic Church. 

I remember sitting at my job listening to the announcement of Benedict as Pope. I remember how relived I was when I heard Ratzinger as I knew nothing would change. Benedict was a continuation of JP2 and was the reason JP2 could leave the Vatican as much as he did. Benedict like JP2 was a fan of tradition, they lived in the "Palace", they wore the red shoes, the "fancy" vestments. Benedict was a teacher and we have the current Catechism because of him and JP2. I was sad when Benedict resigned and wished he stayed in office until his death. Maybe that's why the conclave that elected Pope Francis didn't have the same emotions attached to it. Benedict died humbly hidden away from the world yet all anyone wants to talk about is the color of his shoes and how fancy he was. He and his predecessor left us with a ton of excellent writings but all people seem to care about is shoes, vestments, and going backwards. 

When Pope Francis was elected I remember thinking who did we elect and that's an interesting name choice. While I respect the office I was often left confused by what Pope Francis said. Maybe that was more towards the end of his papacy than at the beginning. Maybe the influence of JP2 and Benedict finally started to show themselves during Francis' papacy. I didn't have the same feeling of "relaxation" when he was elected. He was unknown to me and in many ways still is. I felt a connection to the other two but never Francis. 

I had the opportunity to see JP2 quite a few times and each time was more special than the last. Thinking back on Toronto still brings the tears of joy; I even made it on tv. Benedict came to NY and while I had to enter the Evil Empire of Yankee Stadium it was by far my favorite Papal Mass, WYDs was massive so Mass was chaotic but still Mass. Mass at Yankee Stadium while people annoyed the shit out of me, was Mass. I had the immense pleasure or being in Rome for JP2's beatification. It was one of those things where we ended up watching the Mass on TV despite being there, that's how crowded it. We got to see Pope Benedict at the Papal Audience and that was one of the few times in my life that I put the camera down as he drove by. When I saw both JP2 and Benedict I felt something, what it was I don't know. I did get to see Pope Francis when he came to the US. I happened to be teaching in NYC and the Archdiocese gave the opportunity to get tickets to Central Park. It was a literal drive-by. I know NYPD wanted to move him through quickly and it was quick. I spent more time talking to the NYPD officer standing by me than I did looking at Pope Francis. I remember thinking why didn't it feel the same as when I saw JP2 or Benedict, and that would show itself later. 

JP2 was the only pope I knew forever, then Ratzinger became Benedict so I felt that continuity, that was missing with Francis. Which is odd considering how I feel about evangelization. I don't make maybe all the infighting over which form of the Mass is what has turned me off. I mean yes technically Francis lifted all the restrictions on the TLM but it felt like if you liked the TLM or anything that involved tradition you were called rigid. 

Now we have an American Pope and I am shocked because for the first time in my life the Pope is relatable, he's been to baseball games, his brothers made fun of him or being religious. He speaks American English. When he appeared and was wearing the red cape and stole, I was ecstatic when I saw that. The excitement I felt when I saw the white smoke and was able to tell my preschoolers oh we have smoke continued and I think I had the same reaction of any American Catholic who was truly paying attention to the Conclave.... AN AMERICAN... WOW! and stunned silence. 

I am happy to see tradition return, I am happy to see the Pope return to the building that was built for hime to live in. Casa Santa Marta was built by JP2 as a place for the Cardinals to stay during the conclave. I am tried of hearing all about Francis' humility and how Pope Leo isn't humble because he decided to wear the traditional garb and is returning to the "Palace." If you have been to the Vatican you will know that it's not a palace but a big building. Pope Leo will not be surrounded by gold and fancy things like King Charles is. I hope Leo brings back the red shoes. They are not fancy, they are not Prada, they are a sign of the martyrs who blood the Church was built upon. 

Pope Leo has been in office 2 days and I can see from so called experts it so it's so nice to him wearing the simple black shoes like Francis, he must be so humble. Oh look the Pope has an Apple Watch, I thought they couldn't have nice things. The men who are called to priesthood are human, they are allowed to have nice things. Maybe the watch was a gift, don't forget that during the conclave he wouldn't be able to have it thanks to the whole not electronics rule. 

While sitting here typing this I can't help but think what a reward for the National Eucharistic Congress. We turned our whole country to Jesus and brought Him from all four corners of the US to Indianapolis where 60,000 people sat, knelt, and prayed in silent Adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I don't know what God has planned but I know the Holy Spirit is moving and I am excited. Pope Leo is giving me JP2 vibes, he may not be as exciting but he's young and American and that's a start. What I like is that the man can chant, uses Latin, and seems to like tradition. The Church is not political, the people in it are. JP2 and Benedict were no more political that Pope Francis, they spoke with clarity and said what they needed to say. We got Evangleization and care for the environment from Francis. We got the Catechism and God is Love from JP2 and Benedict. 

Before people pounce on me and say oh you don't like Francis, I did, he just left me confused. I never had to go read what JP2 or Benedict said because you knew what they meant. With Francis I got tired of saying go read what he actually said. 

I veil, I like Latin, I love incense, so yes I am looking to see that reflected in my Pope and I think I have it again. Pray for Pope Francis' soul and pray for Pope Leo. This is not a job anyone wants, you stay with tradtion and pass on the faith and no one likes you because you are old fashioned and going backwards. Go to far forward and no like likes you because you remind them that we are all responsible for one another. The Pope is not God, and his opinions are just that opinions. When he speaks as the successor of St. Peter from the Chair then he is infallible, but only in matters of Church teaching. 

Long Live Pope Leo XIV

Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for him

Mary, the Immaculate Conception, pray for him

Our Lady of Good Counsel, pray for him

Interesting what I wrote back in 2013 https://irish3509.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-tale-of-two-i-mean-three-popes.html

The tale of two, I mean three Popes

This was initially written when Francis was elected, but I never got around to finishing it. I am not updating the first paragraph as I am lazy. The last update comes after an interesting comment was made a parish meeting I was at.  

 I wanted to write/type this shortly after Benedict abdicated from office, but never got around to it and today with the election of Pope Francis I can't help but think of all three of them, because I can't not think of JP2 when I think of pope.  One of my co-workers is wondering when my next trip to Rome is, because as you know I have to go see the Pope.

I am the JP2 generation, people forget that Pope Francis is only the third pope I have ever known and the conclave that elected him is only the second of my lifetime.  There were marked differences between my reaction to the last papal election and this one.  When John Paul the second died, I didn't know what to do or think.  The man that had been Pope for 28 years was gone, the only Pope I had known was gone.  The man I had been to three World Youth Days with and seen on a trip to Rome was gone.  There would be nothing that could compare to him or take his place.  Then along came Pope Benedict and I cried tears of joy when I heard Joseph Cardinal.... I knew my Church was save and that nothing would change.

When I head  "Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum; habemus Papam: Eminentissimum ac Reverendissimum Dominum, Dominum Georgium Marium Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae Cardinalem Bergoglio qui sibi nomen imposuit Franciscum" and while translating the Latin in my head I thought, who, who did they elect.  At first I thought oh Francis, they elected a Franciscan and I thought, no I would have heard "Ioannes" and known it was O'Malley, so until EWTN said who it was I was still wondering who the heck is our Pope.  I didn't have tears of joy in eyes as I watched this at work, later that night when the sound was on and I could hear and see everything I cried just like I did when Benedict was elected. Why, because now I know that my Church will always be the same, because God's in charge.

Fr. Derek, whom I met on my last trip to Rome and who has quickly become one of my favorite priests spoke of his reaction to being in Rome for Benedict's election and how he didn't know what to do with out John Paul the Second, but all of a sudden it hit him, that this is Jesus' Church, that God is in charge, and that He will take care of it.  Thanks to this homily from Fr. Derek and the grace of God, I can now say the same thing.  What, Fr. Derek does have a few years and an extra degree on me, lol.

The above picture is from my second trip to Rome and it is one of my favorite JP2 memories because it was here that I felt the love and peace that came from this man. Nothing seemed to stop him especially when it came to the youth and for that I will forever be grateful as I was one of those youths that he brought closer into the Church.  My favorite JP2 memories have to do with me seeing him and the overwhelming feeling of joy that came over me when I saw him.  



This picture is from my favorite Pope Benedict memory.  I consider myself a papal event veteran aka a snob, I know what I'm doing and I know how to do it.  There was something about this Mass that just spoke to my heart.  It was a Sunday Mass in the den of the devil,  I mean Yankee Stadium (I'm a Mets fan in cause you couldn't tell) and it felt like a Sunday Mass it didn't feel like the crazy massively large World Youth Day Masses.  I guess this was were my love of Pope Benedict was fostered, see I never saw the man as this hard hitting teacher, just a man who loved his church and the liturgy that went with it.  I admit that I am a liturgy snob and if the slightest thing is off it irks me, yes I am a traditionalist aka a don't mess with the Roman Missal type Catholic.  I saw Benedict when I was in Rome  as you can see below.  In Rome I looked for the same feelings I got with JP2 and didn't get them and I wondered why; what was  different.  See in Rome this time I did something I have never done before I put my camera down and away in my bag and watched Pope Benedict drive within touching distance of me.  While the felling of "stupid Asian woman with the damn flag" was the most present thought it wasn't until later that I realized what a blessing this trip was.  Seeing Benedict many not have given the same feelings as when I saw JP2, but now looking back on both events that took place in the Eternal City, well technically it was the Vatican, the same ear to ear grin comes to my face and a sense of peace comes over me and a few tears come to my eyes too.  



I love both of these men, JP2 make the Church young and friendly to me, ok the priests I met and got to know along the way have helped with that too.  Benedict helped to love the traditions of the Church and kept the liturgist and traditionalist in me happy.  

I've watched with joy and trepidation what Pope Francis is doing.  I know that he's teachings are what the Church teaches, but I can't help but wonder as my pastor put it, does he know what he's doing.  There are so many aspects of Pope Francis that I love, but there are aspects that I don't like as well.  The media seems to love him like they have loved no Pope before and that scares me because I don't trust the media. 

 Everything that Pope Francis says and I mean everything is being published via the internet or some other thing. The most recent comment directed towards the pro-life movement or the heavy focus on abortion; bothers me.  I don't like hearing people say "abortion is not a litmus test to being Catholic."  They are right it's not a litmus test but I can not comprehend how someone can say they are Catholic and support anything that claims killing an innocent child is ok.  I get that we need to think about the teaching of the Church and we are allowed to question them but I can't help but wonder what is Francis' plan here.  I am in a country that is now forcing me to pay taxes under the guise of universal healthcare where I have to pay for something that I am morally opposed to.  I am called a hater and a bigot because I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.  I am now hearing the media say that my Pope is telling me to stop focusing on abortion, and marriage, but I can't as those are my issues.  I am Catholic and I have no other church to run to because I am not leaving the Eucharist or the Church that Jesus Himself started but I can't help but wonder what will happen the moment the leader of said Church finally says something ex-cathedra.

My bishop puts it this way, "He is reforming the way the world sees Catholicism." For everyone's sake I hope my bishop is correct.  Francis is reforming the way the media sees Catholicism, but I can't help but wonder if that's a bad thing.  Fulton Sheen said something along these lines, "There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believeto be the Catholic Church — which is, of course, quite a different thing."  As I thought before, the Church does not kick people out or turn people away; those that leave the Catholic Church have done so on their own because there is something that they don't agree with it.  Those doors are always open as they always have been.  Our first vocation is to love one another and maybe that is what Francis is getting at.  God has a plan and I know everything will work out but I am left here wondering what is the plan.