Two years

It does not seem like two years since I got two messages from Bridget, one saying, "you need to pray for Mary Ann, something happened to/with Fiona" the second "call me back when you get a chance I have sad/bad news." I was working at New York and Company at the time so I wouldn't have had my phone on until I left, which was usually 11pm or later as I mostly closed. I know the above messages are not word for word, but I knew from the moment I heard the first one what had happened. For the rest of the time I worked at New York and Company I hated turning on my phone after a night's work. It honestly took me 45 or more minutes to call Bridget back. I didn't want to do it on the way home, as I was driving, once I got home I couldn't bring myself to hear the words, "she's gone." Eventually I sucked it up and called and heard what I expected to hear, Fiona had died.

Here's the short version of the story, Fiona somehow at the age of 23 months managed to move a kids table over to the edge of the deck climbed up fell over the deck wall and fence into the pool area and was found face down in the pool. Bottom line of the story is that she died.

I remember going to work the next day numb as I didn't even know how to phrase what happened to my manager and to tell them I wouldn't be in on the days of the wake and funeral. I eventually told one of them and left it at that.

I remember looking at the small coffin with the pretty little girl in her pretty little dress with her beautiful curls in it. I remember how her Aunt Bridget and I made first class relics by simply touching Rosary Beads and other articles to Fiona. Mary Ann, Fiona's mom looked at us and once she realized what we were doing, she laughed.

That night Aunt Bridget and I ended up, well Bridget more than I, I was simply there to keep Bridget company, making the pall that would go over Fiona's casket. It was simply beautiful, a piece of white satin, with tulle around the bottom of it, with roses on the corners. We literally flew by the seat of our pants while making it and some how it came together, we know it was by the grace of the Holy Spirit. When we finished it, Bridget and I simply stepped back and looked at the pall lying on the dining room table and both said, "It's wrong that it's so pretty." We stared at it and eventually turned to each other and said, I can't look any more or I'll start crying, and seeing as we found a way to laugh while making the pall we both decided that the crying was best left for the Mass of Christian Burial. So I went home only to return to Newark the next morning for the Funeral Mass.

Mass was obviously sad, I walked in to see an honor guard of Irish Dancers in full uniform, who really did look out of place, but little Fiona loved watching her brother and sisters dance so she got an honor guard of dancers. Heck I dance around the house sometimes knowing she's probably watching. Larry aka Fr. Larry told us during the homily that Mary Ann told him that he was going to sing her a good African Spiritual, and Larry did, he started his homily out with "Swing Low Sweet Chariot coming forth to bring me home... and then went in to his homily, finding a way to make us laugh and cry." The hardest part was hearing Dan, Mary Ann's brother-in-law start to sing Elmo's World after we all laughed, we all cried, as Elmo was Fiona's favorite show and character. We walked out crying as was expected and it was raining slightly, and all I could think of and as Mary Ann's off the boat Irish mother-in-law said, "happy the corpse the rain falls on." Yep, leave to the Irish to say something like that, as Mary Ann and I said later, it always rains over there, they had to come up with something!

That day continued on with the actual burial part and the traditional meal back at Mary Ann's sister's house. Eventually I ended up staying over as the Peter Smith School Feis was the next day and I wanted to watch Mary Ann's kids dance.

It really doesn't seem like 2 years ago, but I know that it is. Fiona's death brought me closer to my faith and to the idea of Church Militant and Church Triumphant closer to me as well. The terms Church Militant, Church Triumphant, and Church Suffering aren't used anymore or at the very least not spoken about too much and I miss it. We connect with the Saints and saints (no I am not repeating myself, there's a difference between saint with a capital S and a lower case S) in a awesome way at every Mass and with Fiona's death that idea was brought closer to home for me.

Fiona is not the first "young person" for me to bury, honestly she's not even the youngest, her cousin Bernadette holds that honor, but she is one of the youngest and her death brought Heaven closer to me.

Fiona I will continue to pray to you, especially for parking spots, you and Tony are great at that, I will talk to you about others that we need to work on, and yes I know that you can run up to Jesus and sit on His lap and whisper our prayers to Him, if not I'm sure Mommy aka Mary is telling Him for us.

Fiona may you continue to rest in peace and to pray for us!

Fiona Alexandra Marie 7/13/04- 6/19/06

I want.... (photo heavy!)

a Nintendo WII

and wii fit

a treadmill

a silly t-shirt

and a cheap laptop

I like the idea of having a Macbook, but it's expensive, though the idea of getting an ipod with it is nice, I just have to work for a school. ;)
maybe I can spend my stimulus check and then some all at one ;)

Mets Blanket

Why I am posting this here I don't know. I have the privacy settings so damn high no one will be able to find it. Anyhoo, my friend Bridget has finally gotten me to start crocheting and now I am in the process of creating mets blankets. One for myself and one for Bridget. Here are some progress pictures, one of a few of the squares I have made and one of the 3rd blue squares being made. I have 4, really 5 out of 24 made. 3 out of 6 blue squares, 1 out of 6 orange squares, and 1 out of 12 white squares. I am still messing around with the order of the colors but it will be 4 squares wide by 6 squares long making it total of 44 inches by 66 inches as each squares is about 11 inches wide by 11 inches tall, and it all depends on how tight my stitches are, which seem to be getting tighter. I will be sure to update as I go along. Click on the pictures to see the full version.

sometimes things are closer to home than you think

During the war in Iraq I often thought it would be Mike (high school acquaintance and son of one of the deacons at my parish) or Paul (best friend's brother) I would hear about, however when they announced on the news the names of 3 soldiers who died over there on Monday, in particular Greg Dalessio, I thought, I know that name... did I go to school with him.Sure enough I got a link today from a fellow SHU alum via facebook and I can't place or remember how I know him, other than campus ministry keeps popping into my head. It will drive me nuts until I figure it out and now work study is popping into my head too, for all I know it could have been student ambassadors, but I'm thinking campus ministry.Captain Gregory Dalessio SHU classes of '00 MA '04 may you rest in peace and thank you for your ultimate sacrifice and love of your country. Without men (and woman) like you this country would be nothing. In doing a google search for Greg's name in an attempt to see how I knew him I found some interesting pages. This one in particular struck me as interesting. A news article on him from the Courier Post, the paper in South Jersey. am sure that more will come up on this topic...for now I'm off to sleep as it's the last day of CCD and it's been a long week.

Random comments from the priests...

that's right the priests...

I'm sitting quietly in the pew minding my own business when Fr. Brian says "I don't want you crying during Mass either."

I was at the 10am Mass, which I normally try to avoid because it's the "kids Mass" which means there are normally a lot of babies and kids making noise. Before someone jumps all over screaming about it, I love kids really I do and I love my friends kids and my niece and nephew but since I don't have any of my own I don't really need to subject myself to the Mass with the screaming kids.

The reason for Fr. Brian's comment where there was a 7 week old baby in the front fussing, babies do that, the kid's mom, dad or aunt shoved something in the kids mouth and he was happy as can be the rest of Mass. There was another baby making noise in the back, so Fr. Brian being Fr. Brian and knowing he can get away with it, tells me, 'no crying from you either." It made my day, and makes me think, "that's what makes him good." The only other priest to make comments like that to me is Fr. Bill, so Fr. Brian must be good. ;)

June 19, 2006

Seems like yesterday...

I know it's not quite her anniversary, but Fiona may you continue to do awesome work up there in Heaven.

Fiona Alexandra Marie July 13, 2004 - June 19, 2006

Fi, ora pro nobis!

Tim Russert

When checking my e-mail, I better be careful as the last time I started a blog like this, I got some lovely *rolls eyes* comments from Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. Any way when I check my e-mail I normally glance over and skip the CNN headlines/breaking news. I don't get them very often anymore so I decided to click on it today and imagine my surprise when I saw simply stated, Tim Russert has died of a heart attack, he was 58.

As is typically when a celebrity or some other well known person dies I immediately text my friends. Jokingly, and I mean jokingly I said is this a sign for liberals, both friends I texted are conservative like myself. The responses of shit, no way are given and we all go and check the news.

I actually rarely watched Russert's show, but from the debates that I suffered through, suffered because of the candidates not him, I was impressed with how he handled himself. I don't like that he was a Democrat and Catholic, but alas it is hard for people to get away from that stereotype, but overall he seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. It is stated that he just returned from a trip to Rome, as someone on another blog put it, "there is no better time to be called home than after a trip to Rome", the Eternal City. Before people get up in my face about being annoyed that he was a democrat and Catholic here is my reasoning.

Catholic teaching: abortion is wrong no matter what
Democrats are strongly pro-abortion
therefore a Catholic should not be a democrat, notice I did not say can not, but only should not, though I do lean more towards can not. These are my thoughts take them or leave them, don't go leaving comments if you disagree, you are not going to change my mind and I more than likely will not change yours.

Too many people look at abortion as a simple issue and lump the pro-life movement into this whacked out sect of Christianity. Abortion is always wrong not matter what, war while not the best or greatest of options is not always wrong, there are time when it can help. Just look up the just war theory.

Anyway, my prayers go out the Russert family, especially Tim's wife, and son as they return home from Rome and have to grieve publicly. I can only imagine the heartache of knowing that Tim was in the US while there were in Rome, how would they know that that good-bye in Rome would be there last.

Rest in Peace Tim Russert.

Fox News has a nice story on him as do most of the other news stations. We had MSNBC on before we left for the feast at the parish and I can honestly say it was one of the few times I could handle listening to Keith Olbermann. I give the anchors at NBC credit for getting on the air and being able to handle a friend and colleague dying literally at work. 58 is young to die, not as young as I have unfortunately had to see and deal with, but still young none the less. Mr. Russert lived life and seemed to enjoy it.

Eternal Rest grant unto him O Lord,
Let perpetual light shine upon him
may his soul and the souls of the faithfully departed
rest in the Mercy of Christ.
Amen.

This is what I do...

I read, hear, or see something that pisses me off, I then blog about it, so it doesn't sit and brood in me all day long, because if it does, the last post is what happens. Cursing left and right and just an over all pissy over tone. Just let me be, I'm entitled to my opinion as much as you are.

The one place I thought...

I would be able to speak my mind and thoughts has been breeched. I can't even blog about how I feel, because someone out there in cyber-land will assume that I am inferring something that I never have or that I'm something because of what I said. I am fully aware that people are entitled to their comments and free speech, but this is my f-ing blog, I am allowed to say whatever the hell I want. Don't come into my house accusing me of shit that I am not.

I am not pro-murder because I am pro-military. Stop fucking blaming Bush for every damn thing that is "wrong" with this country. The House and Senate are the law makers, blame their asses, but that's right it's just easier to blame one man for everything. As a Christian I am called to take care of others, that's not limited to only the United States. I'll try to cut out the cursing before I am accused of being a hypocrite again as a Christian is apparently supposed to be perfect. Sorry, I'm not, nor will I ever be despite my quest to be perfect.

How is it that the blog that I just put up to simply say one should vote pro-life get two comments from random people, and the well thought out blog below it, the open letter to Mr. Obama they don't comment on. Oh right because my "one issue voter" status is all about abortion vs. their one issue of "BUSH SENT US TO WAR, WAR WAR WAR, it's all his fault"

Yes abortion is the top issue for me, because I believe that if one thinks killing a DEFENSELESS human being is right or correct, then I can not vote for them, regardless of their political affiliation.

I need to ask Fr. Matt for his notes from his pro-military, pro-just war presentation he gave to the parish.

That's right no comments allowed on this one, kiss my white Irish American ass. I don't need you aggravating me over something I never said.

As I was checking my e-mail this headline came up. "Pro-Life Catholics Shouldn't Back Barack Obama Because He's Pro-Abortion" It's such a simple statement and it irks me to no end how many "Catholics" will vote for Barack Hussein Obama. The words "Pro-Life" and Catholic are one in the same, if one is Catholic one is pro-life end of story and when people begin to realize that, there won't be an issue. Murder is never an option!

Catholics are not to be picking and choosing what teachings they believe, when people are reminded of this from the pulpit they will know. As one of my priests puts it, I can't tell you to vote for, but here's who I'm voting for and why!"