A reflection on the empty Tabernacle

There is something hauntingly beautiful about the empty Tabernacle.  It stands as a stark reminder of what happened roughly 2,000 years ago. 

So often we are caught up in what is going on around us, right now the focus is on the global pandemic and how to end it, that we forget about what actually happened on that first Easter. In the Gospels we hear how the Apostles, Jesus' closest friends, ran and hid. They were scared, Judas and Peter had done just as Jesus said they would, betray and deny. They did not know what would happen and they were worried they would be next. Today we are hiding from an invisible enemy, a virus that has brought the world to it's knees. We are scared like the Apostles, we are wondering if and when we will return to normal. 

I always understood Holy Thursday and Good Friday, but never understood why we waited until Saturday night to usher in the Easter Season. A wise priest, I know a few of those, one spoke about how not to forget the silence of Holy Saturday. It dawned on me that we so often focus on the events of Good Friday and the joy of Easter Sunday that we forget about the silence of Saturday. The Church in her wisdom has given us this time to reflect on what was going on in those hours. 

An ancient Holy Saturday homily says "Something strange is happening—there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness." We feel this strangeness and silence in many ways this year. We feel it in the unease at when a return to normalcy will happen, the unease for all those working on the front lines, nurses, doctors, respiratory technicians and the rest of the healthcare and essential workers, the pangs of having our church building closed and locked. 

Another wise priest I know said in his Holy Thursday homily there is a "spiritual sadness" hanging over this year's Triduum. There are many things missing from the celebrations, the smells and bells that Catholics are used to are not there in the same way they usually are, but there is hope. 

That strange silence offers us hope. A hope that was born from that "necessary sin of Adam" to bring about "a great Redeemer" that destroyed that sin completely. In that empty Tabernacle there is silence but also hope. A hope in the knowledge that Good triumphed over evil, that Life conquered death, that Happiness overcame sadness. 

May the silence of today remind us of the great joys that are to come. Without Thursday there is no Mass, without Friday there is no Sunday. Today is that odd day that gets lost, today is the day Jesus descended to the dead. The silence of today is just as important as the events of the past few days. May we revel in the silence and the hope that comes from it. 

I heart my Pastor

I realize that I jumped from we're getting new priests to my pastor's homily from Ash Wednesday.

Fr. Ray is my favorite pastor, mainly for his I don't give a damn attitude.  I know he cares he just seems able to let the annoyances roll of his back the way water rolls off a duck's back.  I love that he says Mass and does liturgy correctly as in from the Roman Missal and doesn't care what others think about that.

Let me start from the beginning as that is a good place to start. When Fr. Ray first came I was torn because the man has a very thick exterior and I couldn't actually tell if he liked me or not and I couldn't tell if I liked him or not. I was leaning towards liking him, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. I try to always look for the bright side and aspects of the new guys who come to the parish. I was constantly fighting the majority of the parish in liking the poor man and I still am. I finally got the chance to sit and talk with him on our youth ministry  retreat.

I was starting to see myself join the ranks of those it liking him, but I understand the man is busy running a parish, working as the archivist for the diocese and also as a professor at the seminary at Seton Hall.  So as someone who has had a church job and also multiple jobs at once, I know it is not easy to focus on one job all the time, so I was desperately looking for that one on one time and got it in the form of the Sacrament of Confession at our retreat.  I had finally seen the personal side of the pastor and loved it.

I was tasked with promoting my pastor when he first came to the parish by a priest in the diocese whom I love dearly.  So I took on that task and continue to do so today.  I will defend my pastor and his "lack of being at everything the parish does" because I know deep down he actually likes what he does and that he likes me. 


This was the first year I was able to partake in the Triduum fully at the parish and it was amazing.  Everything was done out of the Roman Missal and it was the first time in quite a while that I enjoyed being at the parish for said events.  At the Triduum and after our Lenten Tuesday night Catechism meetings I realized that all it took to get to know the pastor was to go to the events he was running.  He much like our dear Bishop is a teacher and full of knowledge, a knowledge that I one day would love to have.  I'm on the parish Liturgy Committee and I took those minutes I had in the "confessional" to finally get my say out about how annoyed I was with some of the things the committee was saying and how I felt about the state of the Confirmation program and about evangelization at the parish.  I laid it all out including the story of how I came to be on the Liturgy Committee and how I was the only one who would sit next to the pastor, and oddly at the next meeting Fr. Ray sat next to me and I know he wanted to sit next to me at the last meeting too, but the Committee is much like Church, your seat doesn't change and no one moves from their said spot.  So when Fr. George left and Fr. Martin came in Fr. Martin sat in the corner which is now Fr. Ray's spot whether he wants it or not.  


I'm tired of hearing people bitch and moan about the pastor, I keep wanted to say have you asked him to come over, he's not a mind reader.  He can't know what you're thinking of that you want him at everything.  We can't expect him to be at everything, it's just not possible. 


I know where I stand as at the end of Easter Vigil I make a point of saying hello and Happy Easter to the priests and deacons. I had talked to both vicars, and seen my top two deacons so I decided I should go say hi to the pastor as I probably won't see him tomorrow. I walked out and as he was talking to two of the Sisters who teach in the school, he turns and says, "Happy Easter Mary" and leaned in for the classic greeting/kiss.  It had taken 9 months but he finally used my name and despite all my joking of "oh no he actually knows my name" it was great.  The conversation then followed about the light that was on me as lector during the Vigil, it was a touch blinding as no other lights were on.  


The next day, other wise known as Easter Sunday meant that I was lector and EM at our gym Mass.  I got there early and no one, other than the choir, was in the gym which was weird but I went with it.  I was going over the prayers of the faithful as there was no deacon at the Mass and I would have to read them.  I apparently forgot how to read and just skimmed them as I didn't notice that one was repeated, I just noticed that it was crossed out, I asked our vicar if he knew why it was crossed out and he said no, maybe Msgr. knows.  Fr. Ray, in cassock and surplice, looked at me and said "it's repeated" I said, oh guess I should have read the whole page.  He followed up with she changed what I had written, I said I'm not surprised and went to but the binder back.  Fr. Ray was over to greet the people who were at Mass, a first for a pastor of our parish to actually do.  


A few weeks later we had Confirmation,  I as a catechist in the program was there to support my teens from youth ministry and those I actually taught.  I had gotten a random email asking me if I would serve as a "cup bearer" at Mass.  I said I'm around to serve as EM if necessary.  I walked into the sacristy and Fr. Ray greets me with "Miss Woolley, what can we do for you?"  I was thinking oh no he knows the last name too.  All kidding aside, I knew he knew my name, he just never called me by it.  The conversation continued with me asking about the set up for EMs and we discussed what would happen.  


I've found that since the youth ministry retreat Fr. Ray and I are both more friendly to one another, maybe it's the I understand your issues with the parish Father, I have the same ones or it's that I said but I like your ideas.  


His homilies are excellent, I haven't blogged about a homily since Fr. Brian was here.  For me it's just nice to have a pastor I feel comfortable being a smart ass around, I certainly couldn't do that with the last pastor, and Fr. George and I was friendly but we didn't see eye to eye on everything, I have a feeling that Fr. Ray and I would and do see eye to eye on everything.  


At the Triduum it just dawned on me that he had very quickly become my favorite pastor and that was a spot long held by Fr. George, who do a lot for me and to keep me in the parish.  I nearly walked away from the parish while it was under the last pastor, but I kept at it and because of Fr Ray I stayed.  When Fr. Ray came I had heard you're going to love him, he's great for your parish, and all of that good stuff from people who knew him.  I tried and keep an open mind and heart about it and sure enough I got to know the man slightly and lo and behold he is great for our parish and I do love him, now I hope he stays. He's not afraid to come and say and teach Church teaching.  He'll call out the New York Times on an ad, he'll tell you why abortion is wrong.  Maybe that's why I like him, he's authentic Catholic and not afraid to teach and defend Holy Mother Church.  


Hear that Bishop Serratelli, no moving my pastor, you can take one of the vicars, just not the one I like and send us the awesome deacon we had over the summer.  ;)  

Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday

So now that it's almost a week away from Easter, I'll sit and blog about the homilies I heard. So I finished out the Triduum with the Vigil and was quite impressed with my new pastor. While not Fr. Brian's passionate take on the Eucharist and the Priesthood from Thursday night, it was a good homily. Fr. Martin and Fr. Brian are similar yet totally different.

Fr. Martin has seemed semi subdued in his homilies since arriving at the parish, however his homily from the Vigil caused me to remark "I think we got a glimpse of the real Fr. Martin tonight." It can not be easy for a man to pack his bags and leave everything he knew to come to a new country 41 years ago as was asked of Fr. Martin when he left Ireland to come to the States to serve the diocese as a priest, to be asked to do the same thing again shows how much the man loves the priesthood and reminds us of the vow of obedience. As I say the bishop says "jump" the priest responds with "how high?"

Fr, Martin started out his homily by telling us that he was strengthened in his own faith by us, the community of St. Anthony, coming out in great numbers on Palm Sunday, and the amount of people who came for the Triduum. The Church was not packed as it has been in the past but we did have a decent crowd at each of the sections of the Triduum. (Our parish is also 3 times the size if not 4 times the size of his old parish) Fr. Martin went on to thank those that help make the parish beautiful, the staff, Frank (who is in charge of the flowers and decoration of the church), music, servers, readers, Eucharist Ministers, and hospitality. Saved him from having the mention everyone at the end of the Mass, and it was nice to hear in the homily.

Fr. Martin went on to talk about those who have lost a loved one and how Easter is what reminds us that we are buried as a tired body, no soul... that death is a door way to the next life. He went into this by telling us a story of a 4 year old boy who was visiting the cemetery with his grandmother. As he started the story I turned to my friend Jerry and said oh "like Sean" as Fr. Martin mentioned that the young boy was running ahead of his grandmother. While running ahead of his grandmother the young boy stopped by a tombstone and started asking questions, "what's that, what does that say" The boy's grandmother explained that one part was the person's name, the other the date that person was born and the other date the day that person died. A bit further up the graveyard the young boy stopped at another tombstone and asked the same questions, the grandmother responded with the same answers expect this time, there was no date of death, this person was just thinking ahead. The little boy went home and was asked by his mother how he day was and the little boy answered with, "we went to the cemetery and there are people buried there that aren't even death yet." Of course the congregation laughed and
Fr. Martin moves on to how losing a loved one is hard and never easy but that we should remember that we are just a tired body when we are buried, that our souls go to Heaven to be with Jesus, Mary and the Saints, and saints.

Fr. Martin told a second story. He mentioned that we may not know but that he's a huge football fan and he spoke of how a few years ago, when the Giants weren't doing so well, some people took him to a game. He told of how he sat at the game surrounded by Giants fans and how he heard the Giant fans behind him cheering throughout the game. It was strange as the fans would cheer as the Giants would fumble the ball, which is of course not something you normally cheer for. Turns out that the fans behind Fr. Martin had their headphones on and were listening to the Yankee game and the Yankees were playing well in the playoffs. The church erupted in laughter. Fr. Martin finished up his homily with "in the same way that these fans were pumping their fists for their teams, we are to go and pump our fists for Jesus and proclaim that He is Risen."


So when Fr. Brian walked into the gym pumping his fist, I turned to Jerry and said, oh someone took last night's homily to heart. Fr. Brian looked at us like we were crazy but when we said, homily last night fist pumping, he laughed along with us. Easter Sunday was no different for Fr. Brian, he gave another kick ass homily. Like Fr. Martin he spoke of death and resurrection. Fr. Brian spoke of how Easter is reason death isn't bad. He started by having us take a moment of silence for those whom we knew who last in the last year, he had happened to lose his godmother this past year and his mom within 5 years. (Which makes me think that his mom died shortly after he was ordained, he speaks of how her proudest moment must have been when he was ordained, so she was alive for that.) Anyway, both homilies caused me to think of my friend, Katie, and how this would be her first Easter without her son, and then it made me think of her two aunts who had also lost children in the last two years.

After that reminder that Easter is what makes death not so bad, Fr. Brian focused on the Eucharist and that we should be there 52 Sundays not just Easter. He told us that Easter was the time to either commit or recommit to attending Sunday Mass. It was a very nicely put, get your ass to Mass, comment, and that is why I love Fr. Brian, he very nicely said to come to Mass, like you are supposed to. He tells you as it is and is offended if you don't agree.

He went on in his homily to speak about how at Easter "as the risk of sounding like a woman, I buy a new pair of shoes every year at Easter." Fr. Brian's shoes were nice and shiny so I assumed they were either polished or brand new. He spoke of how we should go get new shoes so that every time we put those shoes on we say, I'm going to be a better... priest, son, daughter, mother, father, friend, person. Fr. Brian then added in well in this economy maybe you can't afford new shoes, so get a new toothbrush and pray while brushing your teeth. Saying let no gossip or evil come out of my mouth.

The passion with which Fr. Brian speaks amazes me, like Archbishop Dolan (he's in my head because of his installation.) he is a happy man, a happy priest and that shows. With a last name of Sullivan, I'm assuming there is a fair bit of "Irishness" in him so he can be feisty you can say, but he always preaches to himself first and then the people. You will always hear him say, make me a better person, a better priest, us better people before he says ." make you a better person."

Fr. Brian's priesthood and personality have a tremendous gift to me, I just wish I was able to put it into words. I'm sure that Fr. Martin will have some influence on me in the coming years. I pray that both Fr. Brian and Fr. Martin are granted many years at St. Anthony's and that they continue to be great priests.

Happy Easter

and with that the Holiest of Seasons begins

So tonight begins, well last night technically, as it is past midnight, therefore making it Good Friday, the holiest of seasons, the Easter Triduum. Hearing the Gloria for the first time in 40 days and having happier music made me smile from ear to ear. Fr. Brian gave a wicked homily, and I wish I had a tape recorder so I could listen to it again. He went right with the Rubrics aka the rule book for Mass and spoke about the institution of the Eucharist, the institution of the Priesthood/holy orders, and charity/brotherhood of Jesus. Told ya he took it right from the Rubrics, he told us himself.

Fr. Brian spoke of Fr. Cantalamessa aka the preacher to the Papal household, as Fr. Brian said, that's something I want on my business card, not that where I am now isn't important, but really preacher to the Papal household. Having read Fr. Cantalamessa's Mary: Mirror of the Church and used in in my senior thesis, I knew the comment would be good. Alas, the comment I am thinking of didn't come from Fr. Cantalamessa, I can't remember the comment from him and that sucks for me, I think it had something to do with the priesthood, but alas I do not remember. It was a good comment I just don't remember it.

The comment I am thinking of came from some theologian from Notre Dame, I probably remember it because I thought "oh man Notre Dame, hope it's correct." I am fully aware that is the wrong way to think, but I did, so forgive me, it's what Jesus would/will do. Anyway, the comment was about the Sacred Triduum being about mystery not history. Mainly because the historical events of the Triduum can not take place again. Again my brain went to, "ummm yeah it does, every Mass is the re-presentation of the sacrifice of Calvary, so therefore it takes place again, albeit the un-bloody version of the sacrifice. It being said makes sense, but I tend to be literal in the Triduum, in the whole idea that Jesus isn't in the Church even though He's just hiding out in a different spot instead of the tabernacle. To me every Good Friday Jesus dies again, He goes down to Hell and on Easter Saturday night at the vigil He rises. I agree that we can never be in the Garden, on the Cross or in the Tomb with Jesus again, we are celebrating the mystery and that is what makes the Sacred Season so awesome.

Fr. Brian spoke about the institution of the Eucharist, and how we as Catholics are taught to believe that it is Christ's Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist. He mentioned that is also a mystery and that we can receive Communion until we are "blue in the face" but until we accept the mystery into our lives and try to live it out, it's almost pointless. He of course went right in the the institution of the Priesthood/holy orders. Fr. Brian mention that behind him the ordained ministers of Deacons and Priest had over 90 years combined of service to the church. He spoke about each man, Deacon Jerry with his 9 years, Deacons George and Tony with their 13 years and our "Archdeacon" Dick with 22 years of service and of Msgr. George with is 27 years of service. Each man does a different ministry, each an important ministry, feeding the poor via the social services ministry, hospility and burying the dead, and comforting the sorrowfull, teaching CCD and pre-cana, Baptismal prep, and well just about everything under the sun that a priest could do, Msgr. has done it. Fr. Brian decided that his not even 5 years of service couldn't compare to his fellow priest and deacons.

I beg to differ in the 6 months that I have known Fr. Brian, I keep thinking, as much I loved Fr. Kevin, I love Fr. Brian and he reminds me of well me, and to some that is strange, but I know that Fr. Brian will not mess with the Rubrics, is very pro-life and very much wants to get something started. He's also a fan of youth and young adult ministry. Like I said he reminds me of me, and it does me good to have a man like him at my parish. Fr. Brian mentioned that through charity we are all called to partake in Christ's priesthood, we are all called to the things these men and their wives have been doing for the past 20 years.

Very rarely do I remember more than one aspect of the homily, so I took the opportunity to blog about it.

Mass itself was beautiful as usually, I would expect no less from a man who won't veer from the Rubrics. There are nit-picky issues that I have, which would be women having their feet washed, I've never agreed with that, as the Gospel reading once you get past Judas being the betrayer being read for at least the third time this week, speaks of Jesus washing the feet of the Apostles, and last time I checked those were 12 guys. I think if Jesus washed His mother's feet that one of the Gospel writers would have written that down. Alas I can really overlook that and move on until next year.

This year as in the past when the priest is processing around the Church with the Blessed Sacrament to move Jesus to the "garden" liturgical ministers are invited to partake in the procession. I never partake because I'd just rather kneel as Jesus passes me by instead of walking around church, the focus is supposed to be on Jesus not those of us behind Him. I partook this year, mainly because our Pastoral Associate, was sitting next to my parents and wouldn't let me sit or kneel. The whole time we walked around the Church, I kept thinking I want to do this on my knees, and for some reason my right knee, the knee on which my ACL was repaired, was sore as hell throughout the walk, I couldn't wait to get back to my seat. As I made my way back to my seat, the usual screwing up of the verses happened. Without fail the choir and the cantor sing a different verse of Pange Lingua/Tantum Ergo. My understanding is that as soon as the Blessed Sacrament hits the altar steps, which means the altar servers, that we start Tantum Ergo, which is what our cantor did. I laughed because I thought, every year this happens, have you not figured it out yet. Again something I eventually get over until the next time it happens.

What bugged me this year was the forcing me to partake in the procession around Church, it's just not me. In the long run it's not that big of a deal, but it just erks me that some people force on you what they think should be done.

What I love about Holy Thursday night is our version of Adoration, Jesus is hanging out in the "garden" put simply He is moved to a tabernacle that is surrounded by flowers thereby making it the Garden in which Jesus has asked his Apostles to pray and where He is betrayed. Normally I stay from the end of Mass say 9pm until the end at 11:45pm, this year I helped out with the decorating of the gym for our overflow Mass at 12:15pm for Easter Sunday, which was funny because this will be my 6th Mass in the gym so you would think I know where things go, but alas I don't always know everything, it worked out in the long run.

So I came home for about 10 mintues just long enough to eat some toaster strudels so I wasn't starving on my day of fast on Good Friday. I tend to not eat, expect for one big meal, much to the disliking of my mother. I went back to Church for some time with Jesus. Fr. aka Msgr. George had a new cd for Adoration, but it must have stopped at some point because it wasn't on when I went into church. I took that as the ok to turn my iPod on in one ear (the ear away from my mother) so I could listen to some of Matt Maher's songs like his Litany, I Love You Lord, and Adoration, all quite appropriate for Adoration. Once those were over I put the iPod away and proceeded to try and meditate or least get myself into a one on one conversation with God. It's hard to do with all the different noises around, but it works for the most part.

While sitting at Adoration, I kept thinking of a book I just read about how 12 guys became priests, and I thought, how cool would it be to know the stories of 12 priests who have touched my life and how they became priests. I thought at first oh 12's a lot, well I had 7 within seconds. Fr. Brian, Fr. George, Fr. Kevin, Fr. Geno, Fr. Bill, my other Fr. Brian, then I added Bishop Serratelli, Fr. Devin (a priest from my youth), Fr. Jim from SHU's campus ministry, Fr. Deneheny, (I totally got the spelling wrong, but oh well), that's 10 right there, Fr. Brando makes 11, and I can't think of whom I thought of in church, but Fr. Jim from Montclair's campus ministry is coming to mind since I just read his homily blog. So that's 12 right there, I'm thinking that would a great vocations tool, to have the story of 12 ordinary guys and their vocations. I don't care if they are just men, really anyone's story of a vocation will influence one discerning a vocation. St. A's tried something like that before, but I don't know if it worked to well, might be worth looking into.

The idea of writing/editing a book has long been on my mind, but I never really didn't anything about it. Maybe now is the time to do so. Maybe that's my vocation, to foster vocations. I've always said, I'd gladly give all of my sons to the priesthood, should God grace me with marriage and children.