I haven't disappeared, I'm still around

Fr. Jim's most recent homily (http://chernjam.blogspot.com/2012/09/being-unfriended.html) sparked in me part of why I've been away from my blog for so long.  I know that not many out there read it and those that do I probably don't even know, however one of these that used to read it along with most of her family have "unfriended" me and they honestly made up most of the audience who actually read it. Long story short I went to a wedding that the former best friend had decided that I didn't need to or should go to so she and half of her family no longer talk to me, some do and they probably hear about it all the time, but whatever.  I'm no longer hiding behind what happened.  Yes, most of the fault probably does fall with me, but I do no regret what I did.  I was the bigger person.

Fr. Jim's right it's a shock to find that you've been unfriended especially when it was left that you might actually be able to talk to the person and they just up and click a button and end a friendship.  Fr. Jim's homily adds to Fr. Derek's comment of God gives and He takes away what isn't good for us.  See I was such a horrible friend by going to the wedding that the countless trips and sleepovers and free babysitting I did for the former best friend was all forgotten.  Being there for her at her wedding and the insanity that surrounded it, doesn't matter anymore.  The 13 years or whatever it was wasn't matter because I disagreed with her on something for the first time in what was a best friendship.

I've had a lot of priests be a part of my life.  Fr. Jim's is mainly an internet friendship as it's on Facebook and blogs that we interact however I've come to realize that the world between Diocese of Paterson and Archdiocese of Newark is quite small and Fr. Jim and I have many mutual friendships as Facebook calls them.  Oddly Fr. Geno makes that an international world now as he's working on the Council for Evangelization.  Fr. Geno is one of these priests that no matter how hard one tries to shake they can't.  I will forever "blame" Fr. Geno aka FG for who and what I am.

FG started the youth ministry program that I was a part of in high school and am now proudly helping to run at the parish.  When he left the parish I was at Seton Hall, so I wasn't overly attached to the home parish, but I still looked forward to FG's homilies and masses when I came home on the weekends.  We in essence went our separate ways after my freshman years at SHU until our worlds reconnected a few years ago at a "small" place known as St. Paul's Inside the Walls.

Bishop Serratelli tasked FG with building an Evangelization Center, and that they did.  Through St. Paul's I got to see the crazy priest that I knew in high school acting in much the same way as he did back then.  Before he left for Rome and the Vatican FG had an overnight retreat for certain young adults that were hand picked to be there.  The topic was friendships in Christ and how they affect our lives.

During the retreat Fr. Geno talked about trust, friendships, prayer, and of course God.  Looking back on it, God was giving the grace to finally say goodbye to the 13 year friendship that maybe one day will return but for now it won't.  Fr. Derek in one of our "classes" on catechesis as Evangelization talked about the Dark Night of the Soul and how the further away God seems the closer we are to Him.  During one of these sessions he said something along the lines of "God gives us friendships and sometimes He takes them away.  God takes away things that might seem good for us but may not be."  I thought of the former best friend and said yes yes He does.  Fr. Derek's comment came before Fr. Geno's retreat, but they all tie into me reading Fr. Jim's blog and saying, yes it is odd and a shock when you get de/unfrieneded on Facebook.

I've been busy with St. Paul's and learning more about Evangelization and ways to get people back to and into the Catholic Church.  I'm spending my Sunday evening with the greatest joys in my life, the parish teens, showing them that being Catholic is serious but it's also alot of fun.  I'm one again teaching in the Confirmation program, I'm still an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and active at the parish on a few committees, so yes I'm busy and don't usually have time to sit and blog. Work is work and keeps me busy from 9am-7pm.

I'm still around but when I'm not in front of the computer (or iPad and wireless keyboard) I'm at work, or at the parish or at St. Paul's sharing and learning more about the Catholic faith.

So with the drama of the last year and a half finally out on the internet I hope to return to blogging but I know it won't be conssistent.

Confirmation and part of why I heart my Bishop

Confirmation was about a month ago at the parish and yes as I do with most of the blogs, I type the highlights of what I want to talk about and then step away from the computer.

I've known my bishop for awhile.  I still remember my first encounter with Fr. Serratelli on that March for Life Bus in January of 1998.  I remember when he became Msgr. Serratelli and I certainly remember taking a summer session week long course with him my junior year so I could have enough credits to be a senior and get the hell out of Seton Hall.  Yes, I was insane enough as an undergraduate to take a graduate level course with a man who knows Scripture like the back of his hand.   Wonderfully for me, I was naive enough to not realize what I was really doing and when it came down to it, then Msgr. Serratelli was very nice, and kind and maybe it was because I was an undergraduate but I enjoyed that class and was not one bit scared of the oral exam he gave as a final.  I remember sitting in the Seminary dinning room and hearing him say "It's like Daniel entering the lion's den. Imagine we're over in Campus Ministry having a conversation."  Thus began my personal interaction with the man who is currently my bishop.

I take great joy in saying I know the Bishop of Paterson and I take even more joy in knowing that he knows my name and hasn't forgotten it like he usually blames his miter for.  Fr. Geno's comments at his Mass of Thanksgiving about our Bishop, well it's a sort of lack of comments, because FG didn't say much, but his reaction while mentioning Bishop Serratelli showed his love and passion for the man he calls "boss" (for a few more weeks) and the man I call "Pappa Arty, I mean Bishop" This action reminded me of how much I love my bishop and how much it pains me to hear people talk disparagingly about him.  I know Bishop moves the priests around a lot and that my parish seems to get the brunt of it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like us.  I'm tired of people complaining that this one doesn't do this and this one doesn't do that.  Own up to your actions and thoughts, get to know the person, attempt to get to know the person before you just say he doesn't like us so I don't like him.

I know my personal connection makes it for a lack of better terms, personal, when someone attacks Bishop.  I know it's that time of year and we're bound to have yet another change in staff at the parish, but we just have to deal with it.  Maybe Bishop only wants the guys to have a year or two at a bitchy parish and then move them on, I mean really nothing can be worse than a place that complains about everything.

Oh well before I get totally off topic the original intent of the blog was about the homily Bishop Serratelli gave at Confirmation.  I only remember portions of it, but Bishop does not preach for long but he gets his point across.  Bishop started his homily out with the legend of Quo Vadis, where Peter while leaving Rome meets Jesus and asks "Lord, where are you going?" to which Jesus replies, "To Rome to be crucified again." Of course Peter gains his confidence and returns to Rome to where he faces his eventual martyrdom.  This story always reminds me of Seton Hall and my Latin class, so Bishop had hooked me in.  The basis of his homily is that we should always be living our lives as a follower of Jesus, meaning that the sacrament doesn't end at the ceremony but that it continues on.  The comment live your life as a follower of Jesus struck me as yes Bishop was preaching to teens who face far more issues than I did at their age, but it's true for all of us.  It reminds me of the question "Is there enough evidence to convict me of being Christian, or in my case Catholic?"

That is what stayed with me from Bishop's homily. It's not in his preaching, though it is good, that Bishop excels, but at his questions and answers session. In the question and answer session you get to see Bishop's passion for teaching come out, you get to see the personable side of him come out.  It always leads to the vocations speech, but hey he's the bishop, he's got to talk about vocations. This time it wasn't the vocation to priesthood or religious life that he spend his time on, but the vocation of marriage. Bishop spoke about how one is called to marriage in the same way that one is called to religious life and how each vocation comes with it's ups and downs.  He spoke of how no vocation is easy, but that there is joy in the vocation.  I remember thinking this is what he was talking about at the Chrism Mass of how if the priests are on fire and are full of joy that the lay people will follow suite.  I sat there as he said the vocation will not be easy, you'll have to do things you don't like, give things up, but there will be joy.

Joy seems to be a buzz word right now.  Fr. Geno mentioned it, Bishop has mentioned it and our Holy Father speaks of how there is a poverty of joy in the world.  As I type this I keep looking down and seeing the memorial card for Fr. Jim Sheehan, who passed away last August after a battle with cancer.  The picture on the card shows the joy in which Fr. Jim served the Archdiocese of Newark.  Looking back on all the priests I have meet in my life, the ones that I have come to know and love have much joy in what they do and in life.  Bishop Serratelli may not always enjoy his job, but he is a joyful person, same goes for the pastor of the parish.

I can't help but think that some day soon I'll be doing work for and in the Church.  I know it won't be easy but it is joyful work.

May God continue to bless and watch over my wonderful Bishop, priests and of course the Holy Father.

Rome Day 2

 Day 2 was the by far one of the best days of the trip as it was Papal Audience day.  Something that has changed since I was last in Rome is that tickets are needed for the Papal Audience and the airport security bag check before you get into the square for the audience has been added as well. Going through the metal detector with another person, literally 2 of us at the same time side by side, is something I would love to forget, but can't.  The day began early with Fr. John telling us to be downstairs and ready to leave at 7:15am.  Fr. John whom we met on Day 1 is what we call a Papal event guru, and very good friends with Fr. Geno.  Fr. Geno originally said 7:30am Fr. John said 7:15 to get us out at 7:30, see I've known Fr. Geno for a fair bit longer than the others on the trip so I know that when he says 7:30 he really means about 7:20.  Anyway, all of that doesn't really matter as the experience of the day far out weighs any discomfort of waking up so early and walking at a quick pace.

It didn't truly hit me as to where we were sitting until I was in the square and of course after fighting one's way into the square as seats are on a first come first serve basis.  Considering myself to be a Papal Event veteran having been to a few World Youth Days and a Papal Mass not to mention the Papal Audience when I was in Rome in 2001 with Seton Hall, I thought I knew what was about to happen, but I didn't.  I walked past where we sat with Seton Hall got to the "end of the columns" and realized that we were literally sitting on the steps of St. Peter's.  The Swiss Guard who acknowledged my ticket had to hear me say "Holy Hell or Damn they got us up close"  as I walked past and paused before finding my group.  Fr. Geno and Fr. John basically ran ahead and saved 4 rows for the group as there was 30 of us, and a group of that size very rarely if ever gets the "front row seats."  I don't remember much of what Pope Benedict said despite actually listening to him while there, reading it on line and watching the video of it. Which you can do here and you can see our group when we're announced as the camera panned over to us. (Pilgrims from the Diocese of Paterson)

Fr. John had given us instructions of "move your chairs over" and at the end get ready to move these chairs out of the way." At the end of the Audience, Pope Benedict drove past us as he normally, well he rode past us as someone else was driving the Pope-mobile as we all call it or the Papal Mobile as Fr. John, the official Vatican tour guide calls it.  I for the first time in my actually put the camera away, as the official Vatican photographers were taking pictures and I figured that I'd probably get into at least one, but I didn't because there was this crazy Korean lady, that I deemed a bitch, though that might be a bit harsh, but she was crazy as was the nun who was next to her. The priests were complaining about them as well so I'm not along.  The Korean Lady moved in front of me every time I went to move closer to the rail.  Now for the audience this five foot three inch girl had four, yes four, six foot tall guys in front of her, so Fr. John, who was one of them, said Mary, get in front of me, so I obeyed.  The pictures from the Audience do not do it justice, I was the closest I have ever been to the Holy Father.  I know that I kept looking for the feelings I had when JP2 would drive past me and when I saw him in St. Peter's square 11 years before when I was with Seton Hall.  I did not repeat those feelings, but I got something else.  While I have the actual images of JP2, I do not have one of PB16, I did and still do get the feeling that most get when close to the Holy Father one of peace, and a feeling of being in the presence of a holy man.  Benedict is not JP2 and never will be, but both men will be influential in my life for many reasons.  I remember crying tears of happiness when Benedict came to that window, thinking to myself, oh thank God nothing will change.  The seeds that JP2 planted and being watered and cultivated by PB16 and I know that evangelization and the "new evangelization" that Benedict is promoting will be a major part of my life.

The audience was by far the highlight of my trip and the rest of the day almost pales in comparison but I shall share with you the rest of the day.  After the Audience we went to visit the North American College aka the NAC whose actual name is The Pontifical North American College which happens to be where the American seminarians study and live when sent to Rome for their studies for the priesthood.  There's the link for more info and pictures of the place.   The NAC is one of those places that yes I have visited before, but it's always weird for me, a woman, to be in place that is for men.  There is a certain vibe of you belong here, but you don't belong here.   Anyway, the guys were all on their break from school so we had the place to ourselves and we got a great "tour" of the place, mainly we were up on the roof taking in the amazing views of Rome.  What will also be one of the favorite memories was Mass in the chapel, not the big or main chapel, but the tiny chapel in honor of the North American Martyrs.  We had 5 priests, Fr. Geno, Fr. Paul, Fr. Daniel, Msgr. Rodger, and Fr. Derek, it was crazy and awesome all at the same time.  I mean how many group gets to have 5 priests celebrate Mass for them and we had it happen twice, lol.

Anyway after the NAC we took a bus over to the Coliseum and the Forum.  Having stayed by the Forum last time in Rome this wasn't that big of a deal, for us it's like visiting one of our classic touristy spots.  Our tour of the Forum was cut short as the clouds were quickly turning gray and eventually opened upon us.  We went back to the hotel and then went out to what would be the first of many awesome dinners.  We went to Fr. Geno's favorite restaurant and were treated like kings and queens and drank a crap load of wine and it was wonderful. At dinner Fr. John would ask the normal questions of where did you go to college, what do you do, etc.  The question, well more of a comment was made of "study over here" to me about my lack of a Masters degree of which I would love and like, but more on Fr. John and that comment and grad school later.  Day 2 was by far one of the best days in Rome. I almost forgot here is day 2's album on facebook

  

Fr. Geno and I in the classic in front of St. Peter's shot, and also a typical shot for the two of us. 

The Jesus statue atop St. Peter's. When you've got some time to wait, you find things to do.  

Some of the detail on St. Peter's. 

Something I never noticed before probably because there is so much to see. 

Swiss Guards.. the Holy Father is near. :) 

PB16 did not just appear he did ride up in the  Popemobile or Papal mobile and this is when he was walking to his chair. 

Our seats were amazing, and I  still get chills just thinking about it.  

After the Audience we went to visit the North American College, home of the US seminarians, of which none where there as they were on break, but we got a nice tour of the place and got to see some amazing views from the roof of the college. This happens to be their soccer field and the only picture I have that lays claim to anything NAC related. 

One of the views from the Roof of the North American 

US seminary of course the Patroness of the Americas is there.  :)  I was baptized on the Feast of our Lady of Guadalupe so she will always hold a special place with me.  ;) 

The Coliseum from the outside.  

The Coliseum from the inside.  

Some of the random hidden amazing pieces of art in the churches.   

My random cool shot from dinner ... we had a fair bit of wine that night.  ;) 

My attempt at a artsy shot, it was well after a few glasses of wine, so it was much cooler at the time. 

Our crazy waiters who kept bringing the awesome food and wine. 

the classic night of St. Peter's. 

Roma Day 1

So day one of the Rome trip was a whirlwind. We got of the plane around 7am which was about 1am New York time so suffice to say we were all sorts of wacky.  Most of us were tired but Fr. Geno had the we'll beat the jet lag by staying busy all day plan and that's what we did.  We couldn't check into the hotel until the afternoon so the morning was spent on a bus tour of Rome.  After the bus tour we stopped at St. Paul's Outside the Walls at that is the Basilica that the Evangelization Center is sort of named for.  After Mass, which was ad orientem, meaning the priests faced the same way as the people, we spent time looking around St. Paul's and then went to a local shrine.  The Shrine of Divine Love is just one of those local churches that people have left candles, canes, crutches, etc at as signs of the miracles that happened.  The old shrine is your stereotypical old school church the new shrine is your stereotypical ugly modern in the round church.  After the shine we went to lunch at a wonderful restaurant across the streets from the Catacombs of St. Sebastian, of which we would have gone into but we opted to go to the hotel instead.  I've been to the Catacombs so it wasn't that big of a deal for me to miss it.  I was impressed that my memory still worked after 10 years from the last trip to Rome.  We go to the hotel, relaxed, showered, and went off on a walking tour of Rome.  We got a taste of the speed for which the trip/pilgrimage would be moving at.  Fr. Geno having studied over there took us over back roads and side roads to the Casa Santa Maria, which is where the American priests stay when they are getting their doctorate or second masters degrees.  The Casa which I have seen before held a surprise for us, we were meeting Fr. John who had our Papal Audience tickets for us.  Fr. John was the surprise, as he spent so much time showing us around Rome and giving us tours of pretty much every place we were.  Not that Fr. Geno didn't but Fr. John was over in Rome for his seminary years and for his doctorate years and an official Vatican tour guide.  "Nothing but the best for the Paterson Diocese." Fr. John gave a "tour" of the chapel in the Casa, I remember the SHU group having Mass at the Casa, but I honestly don't remember the chapel.  After we left the Casa we walked back to the hotel.  I say walk, but at the speed Fr. Geno and Fr. John walk at it was more of a jog back to the hotel.  We stopped at the Fountain de Trevi, a must see stop when in Rome.  We also stopped for dinner and gelato on the way back.  In between Trevi and the hotel we saw the Pantheon and I remembered Fr. Holmes from SHU telling us about how amused he was that the McDonald's across the square from the Pantheon had a sign above that basically said something about not commercializing the place.  I think he would be happy to know that said McDonald's looked like it was closed and out of business.  We got back to the hotel and Fr. John revealed the suprise that was in the suitcase he was wheeling around, t-shirts for all of us.  We were given t-shirts that he or someone in his youth ministry program had designed as a fundraiser.  The t-shirts all revolved around John Paul II and his upcomming beatification that we all just happened to be over there for.  Thus ends day one.  What follows are a few of the pictures I took on day one, if you wish to see more visit my facebook album which has more details and comments. On our walk through Rome we saw many of the classic sites and a few others one.  We went to a church that had the tomb of St. Monica in it and we had a nice little prayer service for our moms.  Most of the trip is a blur and what stands out now will be what matters the most to me.  Fr. Geno on Mother's day  spoke about our side trip to the tomb of St. Monica so that's why I remember it more now, but the entire trip was simply amazing and awesome.  

Starting the Day leaving the airport.   

Fr. Geno leading us in prayer.  

Why was the first thing I saw a McDonald's 

The gas stations were literally on the side of the road. 

We saw a Burger King too.  

Me thinks there might have been something going on while we were there.  

"Rats with wings" or pigeons as they are known. 

CircusMaximus

There were literally signs for the Beatification  every where. 

Fr. Geno telling us about the Circus Maximus. 

A classic Roman sign.  

The Wedding Cake or the Victor Emmanuel Monument. 

St. Paul's Outside the Wall. 

Mass :) 

Inside St. Paul's. 

An old school confessional.  

A Holy Water Font.

Part of the ceiling. 

A somewhat modern window. 

The classic St. Paul's shot. 

The Shrine of Divine Love.

Some of the candles and signs acknowledging the miracles that had happened. 

The old shrine with a funeral going on.   There is a new shrine, but it's a modern ugly church.  ;) 

Castle San Angelo. 

Bridge of the Holy Angels.  

One of the sights on the walk/run through Rome. 

The Mary Statue at the Casa Santa Maria. 

St. Therese is my favorite saint and I almost always find a statue or some sign of /from her when I travel.

Our Lady of Guadalupe in the Chapel at the Casa. 

Part of the ceiling in the chapel. 

No trip is complete without a trip to Trevi Fountain

The Pantheon.

The ceiling, yes the one with the hole, in the Pantheon.

Tomb of St. Monica

Some of the painting in the church. 

A portion of the ceiling in the church. 

Our t-shirts from Fr. John.