Mother’s Day

I have long had a love/hate relationship with Mother’s Day. 

I’m an aunt so I don’t count. 

I’m a godmother I slightly count and that’s only in Catholic circles and even then it’s an afterthought. 

I mean I get it I’m not a mother nor will I ever be. I guess that’s where the problem lies, I will never be a mother. When I was asked in college what I wanted to be by my then boyfriend (who I assumed would be my husband) I said “a mother” he laughed and basically said no really, what do you want to be. I should have known then that it wouldn’t work out simply by that comment. I was in college at the time and a religious studies major hellbent on the idea that I was called to marriage. I wasn’t called to marriage or motherhood even though my career if you want to call it that has led me to basically being a mother to many children. Don’t get me wrong I understand completely that people need to bring their children to daycare but something is missing when a person who isn’t family spends more time with your kids than you do. I am fully aware rhaf not everyone has the life I did where my mother stayed home. Honestly I don’t care what parent stays home just that one of them stays home in the early formative years. 

So yeah I have a mainly hate relationship with Mother’s Day and always have.  This year more so than usual. I know how lucky I was to have my mother on Earth as long as I did. Doesn’t mean all the ads, texts, and emails aren’t a constant reminder of what was or more importantly of who is not at the table. Do I know she’s in a better place and no longer suffering yes, does it make it easier, not really. 

I no longer have to buy a gift, unless you count a flower for the grave. I have never gotten a gift for Mother’s Day, well one of my Goddaughters sends me a card and it’s makes me smile the she and her family consider me a second mother. 

I love my family, I love my aunts, cousins, and my grandmothers. Those grandmothers are long gone, and lived in Ireland so I rarely saw them. Ireland celebrates Mother’s Day in March so I get hit with it twice. I don’t mind it I really don’t. I just want people to realize that not all of have happy Mother’s Days anymore. I don’t have children and I never will so no one will be buying me gifts or celebrating me being a motherly person. 

I just want someone to say this sucks and you’re not alone. Trust me I know I am not as I have said those words to a friend, but it’s nice to hear someone else say it.